How to Keep a Conversation Going When You've Already Used Up "How's Work?"

Strangers enjoy personal chats far more than they expect to, according to researchers from Northwestern, UT Austin, and Chicago Booth.

You know the coffee-break script, and you've probably wondered how to keep a conversation going once it runs out. "How was your weekend?" "Good, yours?" "Good." Then you both stare into your cups like the foam holds the next line. 

Most people don't run out of words. They run out of threads because they're busy planning their next line while the other person is still talking. The same research found that people kept underestimating how much their partner wanted a more meaningful chat. Keeping a conversation going means giving your conversation partner something easy to respond to, then actually responding to what they say. That's what turns a short chat into a good conversation.

Below, you'll find 9 concrete moves, a follow-up question table, and short exercises from four conversation books. And if you'd like a steady supply of fresh stories to share, download Nibble and turn a few spare minutes of learning into tomorrow's small talk. Grab your coffee, and let's get you past "Good, yours?"

The following tips are only general advice suitable for use in ordinary conversations since results will differ from person to person. Nibble is a microlearning and daily growth application, not a medical or therapeutic tool. Should social anxiety make conversations feel overwhelming, a qualified mental health professional can provide individual assistance.

Here's the short version if you have a party in 10 minutes.

• Ask open-ended questions instead of yes or no questions.
• Pull threads from the small details the other person mentions.
• Share a short personal story to invite one back.
• Let brief pauses happen, since not every silence needs filling.
• Learn how to keep a conversation going through daily low-stakes practice.

Got a few more minutes? Keep reading for the full guide, plus a table worth screenshotting before your next party.

A conversation usually stalls when one person gives the other nothing to grab onto. The cause tends to be one of a few common barriers, and they show up at work, on dates, and at family dinners alike.

The first type are yes-or-no questions. For example, "Did you have a good trip?" "Yep." That's it. The question functioned on paper and the chat froze immediately afterwards.

The other option is interview mode, in which one person puts a series of questions to the other, who then replies as if he were a suspect being questioned under a desk lamp. Nobody likes this, even if the questions are good.

The third of these is the planning trap: when you're so occupied in working out a clever reply that you fail to notice what the other person actually said. If you want the conversation to keep going then you need to practise active listening and show genuine curiosity, and you can't do that while drafting a reply in your head.

There's also a quieter reason chats stay shallow. In the Kardas, Kumar, and Epley experiments, people expected their partners to care less about meaningful topics than those partners really did. So most people stick to the weather and TV shows, and those topics run dry fast.

And a stalled chat isn't always your fault. Not everyone has the energy or desire to keep talking. The other person might be tired or distracted. Flat spots feel awkward, and they happen even to people with strong communication skills.

How to keep a conversation going comes down to a handful of small habits you can use anywhere, and great conversations rarely happen by luck. These moves work at work events, on dates, and with the neighbor you only know by their dog's name.

They're also the backbone of solid professional communication skills. Developing soft skills like these is part of what makes communication skills important at work, where small talk with a trusted colleague can build stronger professional relationships over time. In everyday life, they make any new conversation a lot less painful.

A yes or no question hands the other person a tiny box to answer in. An open-ended question hands them a whole room.

Here's the difference. "Did you like the movie?" becomes "What stuck with you after the movie?" And "Was the trip fun?" becomes "What was the best part of the trip?"

Open-ended questions encourage longer answers, and longer answers come with more details you can grab. Those details are the raw material for every move that follows.

People constantly include some extra details. For example, if a new colleague says to you, "I'm a lawyer, but honestly, I mostly work on cases involving toy companies," then the first part is their job title and the second part is the actual content of what they do.

Most people grab the general part and ask, "Oh, what kind of law?" The better move is to pay attention to the oddest, most specific detail. "Toy company cases? What's the weirdest dispute you've worked on?" Now you've asked an interesting question, and they get to tell a story they probably love.

Listening closely is how you spot these threads in the first place. Here are a few common lines and the follow-up questions they practically beg for.

Asking open-ended questions encourages more personal answers, especially when each one goes a little further than the last. At the surface, you ask, "What do you do?" One level down, you ask, "What part of your job do you actually look forward to?"

Good questions like that open people up and show you care about the person behind the job title. They take a little emotional intelligence and empathy, because you're reading how much the other person wants to share before you ask more questions. Given the research, your thoughtful questions are probably more welcome than you'd guess, and your ability to read the room grows with every chat.

Just don't sprint. Jumping from the weather to childhood memories in one move will make anyone flinch. Depth works like a staircase, so take it one step at a time.

A conversation is a two-way street. If you only ask, it starts to feel like a quiz with no prize at the end.

That can be shown by a short personal story. If you offer a brief and a bit flawed moment, the other person then feels at ease about returning one of their own. It gives them the impression that they are talking to a real person rather than answering questions in a survey.

A good rule to follow is this: end by handing the turn back. A good story doesn't need to be long to give the other person something to respond to. "I once tried making sourdough and it turned out like a doorstop. Do you bake?" That's a two-line story, and it knows precisely when to stop.

Stories help two people connect faster than facts do, because they show what makes you laugh. Over time, those little swaps add up to better connections.

If the subject matter becomes boring, just look up. The music playing in the cafe, the odd painting on the office wall, and the queue at the food truck are all things you could mention. Such joint observations seem low-pressure since you're experiencing the same moment together. It's difficult to think of an easier way to start a conversation than by referring to something you're both looking at.

Context does the heavy lifting for you. If you're stuck, use the current topic or something happening around you as an easy opening. Borrow any of these lines:

• At a cafe: "This playlist is stuck in 2009, and I'm kind of here for it."
• At the office: "I walk past that painting every day and still can't tell what it is."
• In a food truck line: "This line is long enough that the tacos must be amazing."

A pause in conversation is a short break where nobody talks, and it usually does more good than harm. Not every silence needs filling.

The other person is given a short break during which they can think, and often respond with something more honest than their initial answer. Instead of saying "It was fine", they say "Actually, the trip was kind of stressful, because..."

Here's a practical trick: count to three in your head before you jump in. It might feel awkward at first. But a 3-second silence isn't a big deal, and it only feels long to you.

Body language tells people if you're still in the room, mentally speaking. Nonverbal communication covers your posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye contact, and these nonverbal cues often say more than your words do.

A few easy habits help:

• Keep eye contact naturally, since maintaining eye contact feels warm, and a staring contest feels like a hostage negotiation.
• Nod and let your facial expressions react to what you're hearing.
• Put your phone face down to avoid distractions and show they have your full attention.
• Turn your shoulders toward the person and keep an open posture, because crossed arms can read as closed off.

Positive body language sends nonverbal signals that you're a good listener before you say a thing. Be aware of it, since listening is an important skill nobody teaches in school.

Then add the reflection trick, a simple way to practice active listening. Briefly repeat back what you heard: "So the move was mostly for the job, and the city was a bonus?" It proves you were paying attention and invites them to say more.

All subjects eventually come to an end, and the key is to connect the new one with the current one using a short bridge in order that the transition seems natural.

A clumsy way of making the transition would be to say, "Cool, so do you like soccer?" While a smooth approach would be to ask, "Speaking of weekend plans, are you going to watch the game on Saturday?" With the same new topic, there's a great deal less jarring effect. Here are a few transition phrases to keep in mind:

• "That reminds me of something funny."
• "Speaking of travel, I've been meaning to plan a trip."
• "Totally random, but I have to ask you something."
• "You said something earlier that stuck with me."

Bridges help you find points of common ground, which moves the conversation forward without anyone feeling steered. And when you'd rather skip a topic, assertiveness helps. It means expressing your thoughts and needs openly and honestly, and saying "no" to a topic protects your personal boundaries.

Empathetic assertion makes it smoother: recognize the other person's feelings first, then state your need. "I can tell this matters to you. I'd rather not get into it at a party, though. How was the trip?"

Direct speaking like this can lift your self-esteem and sharpen decision-making skills. Try it in low-risk spots first, like chatting with a barista, to build confidence for difficult conversations where clear words help resolve conflicts.

Great conversationalists usually bring something to the table. Keep 2–3 recent finds on hand, like a strange History fact, a Space fact, or a Psychology finding.

Here's one to try: Cleopatra lived closer in time to the Moon landing than to the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza. One interesting topic like that can turn a dull wait into a real exchange.

It is also useful to prepare in advance. Those who have good presentation skills arrange their thoughts before speaking, write down the main points, and expect questions. Ahead of a networking event, make a note of two conversation topics, together with a specific example for each one, and a question that someone might ask you.

Spending a few minutes preparing makes it easier to explain complex subjects and helps keep your focus on a single point. Clear communication ensures that your message is received.

Skip controversial topics with people you just met, unless they bring them up first. Strong opinions are great fuel between friends, and they can make a brand-new acquaintance tense up fast.

The easiest way to always have something new to share? Make curiosity a small daily habit, even when you only have a few minutes of free time.

Conversation killers are habits that shut a chat down fast, even when you mean well. Here are the usual suspects.

Most of these are tiny fixes, and you can test one per day.

They are also important in the workplace; when the whole team stops interrupting and scrolling while taking part in a discussion, there is a change in workplace culture. People feel that their views are being heard, which in turn creates a sense of psychological safety, that is, the understanding that it is acceptable to speak up without fear of embarrassment. In such a positive work environment it is easier to give feedback, make suggestions and communicate effectively.

If you've been searching for how to improve communication skills without a workshop, books are a great shortcut. Reading about conversation skills is a start, but practice makes them stick. Each book below gets one idea and one exercise to try in a real conversation this week, so you can develop and improve your communication skills one chat at a time.

Duhigg says conversations run on different tracks. Some are practical ("What's this really about?"), some are emotional ("How do we feel?"), and some are social ("Who are we?"). When two people are on different tracks, the talk stalls.

This shows up at work all the time. In a performance review, your manager might be on the practical track while you're quietly on the emotional one. Naming your own emotions helps you spot the mismatch.

Exercise: In your next three chats, guess which track the other person is on and match your communication style to it. Bonus points if you manage it without asking, "So, which track are we on?"

Headlee, a longtime radio host, warns against clinging to your "great point" while the other person keeps talking. That brilliant comment you're holding pulls your attention away from them.

Exercise: When a thought pops up mid-conversation, let it go and respond to what was just said. If the point was truly great, it'll come back. If you forget it, nobody else will notice. It's one of the simplest, most effective communication skills, and it costs you nothing but a little pride.

Murphy, a journalist, argues that most of us listen only to reply. We hear the first few words, decide we know where it's going, and start loading our response. The same habit can show up when we read an article: we skim the words without really taking in the details.

Exercise: After a conversation, try to recall three specific details the other person shared. If you can't, you were probably waiting for your turn to talk. It's a quick self-awareness check, and it gets easier with practice.

Fine encourages people to offer "free information" when they answer. That's an extra detail the other person can grab and run with.

Exercise: For one day, add a single extra detail to every "How are you?" answer. "Good" becomes "Good, I finally fixed my leaky faucet, so I'm feeling very handy." Watch how many people bite. Small habits like this are where good communication starts.

Move 9 has a catch: you need a steady supply of new things to talk about. Nibble is an all-around knowledge app for adults who want to know a little about many things.

Your "For You" feed is personalized around the topics you pick, and you can change your interests anytime. With 35+ topics like Psychology, History, Space, and Cinema, Monday's lesson might cover Roman roads while Tuesday's covers black holes. Imagine having a new conversation topic ready after just a few minutes of learning.

The lessons last only a short time, taking from 1.5 to 15 minutes. Games such as Trivia Quiz and Match the Pairs help with remembering the facts, and the daily streaks provide you with a soft incentive to return when you're busy. Additionally, developing a little learning habit each day contributes to your intellectual well-being.

The Eiffel Tower grows taller in summer

Nibble keeps the next fact ready for your chat

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Nibble users often mention that what they learn shows up later in everyday conversations. Here's what a few of them shared.

Richard, car salesman and dad of two: "I'm sure the facts I have learned from Nibble have come up in the conversation." Read Richard's story.

Ela, TV graphics operator: "We started talking about workouts and muscle soreness, and I shared what I had learned about how muscles work." Read Ela's story.

Sarah Widmer, real estate agent: "But for the kind of knowledge that shows up in real conversations, real decisions, and real life, Nibble is the one that keeps delivering things I didn't know I needed to know." Read Sarah's story.

Shae Legan, healthcare professional: "Instead of hitting snooze or just scrolling, I reach for a topic that satisfies me." Read Shae's story.

Keeping a conversation going comes down to a few habits: ask open questions, pull the thread, trade a short story, and let a pause breathe. The last piece is bringing something interesting, which is also the heart of how to be more interesting. That's where Nibble fits in.

A lesson of just five minutes on the bus can turn into the topic of conversation at lunch time. With the Trivia Quiz you can reinforce what you've learned, ensuring that the fact remains when someone asks, "Wait, really?" The AI Tutor enables you to have chats with historical figures such as Oscar Wilde or Cleopatra, offering a fun method of working on follow-up questions. And instead of spending a few minutes scrolling, you can take a lesson which makes the time spent on screens seem much better.

Your next coffee break doesn't have to end at "Good, yours?" Download Nibble today, pick a topic you're curious about, and bring something new to your next chat.